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Is that what this article is trying to say?

Absolutely not!

Some excuses offered for taking the abuse

Many times, people, especially women, will stay in an abusive, physical or emotional relationship, even after years of being diminished as a human being, with either no excuse or excuses that seem lame, mystifying all who look on from the outside.

Their reasons may be: · “I can’t afford to leave,”
· “My children need a father,”
· “It’s too scary to be alone,”
· “He/She will change,”
· “He came from an abusive family.”
· “I’m scared to leave, he may kill me or my children.”

True, all of these excuses may sound like legitimate reasons for staying, except, regardless of the reasons given, the fact remains that the person on the receiving end of the abuse, physical or emotional, if they survive, eventually end up with a low self-esteem. They are guided by fears of every kind that paralyze them to a point of not making necessary changes that will improve their lives.

To some, it may be easier to just “go with the flow” and manipulate the family to the whims of the abuser, just for the sake of peace. The longer they exist in that environment, the more helpless they are to remove themselves from that life style. If they ever manage to escape from the situation, chances are that they will fall into another relationship similar to the last one.

Better ways to peace and a healthy self-image

Not just the wounded adult, but the children and teenagers of abusive environments definitely, need to be counseled and given ample opportunity to learn to view themselves in a wholesome, healthy way. It is important that they understand that the main burden upon them as individuals, is to know they do not deserve abuse and will not tolerate it from anyone, ever again. If not, the familiar patterning may appear in their new friendships, starting the cycle all over again.

Is there an answer? An expert speaks about the “Stockholm Syndrome”

Clint Van Zandt is an MSNBC analyst. During his 25-year career in the FBI, he was a supervisor in the FBI’s internationally renowned Behavioral Science Unit at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA. He was also the FBI’s Chief Hostage Negotiator and has been chief investigator in the search for Osama Bin Laden; was a leader of the analytical team tasked with identifying the “Unabomber,” and many other high profile investigations.

In his article WHY WE LOVE THE ONES WHO HURT US, he tells of hostages who sometimes become sympathetic to the hostage takers. As unbelievable as that sounds, there is an actual syndrome that explains the reactions of some, after being taken hostage and abused and yet sympathizing with the perpetrator. It is called “The Stockholm Syndrome.”

The name arose from a heavily armed bank robber named Olafson, who took three women and a man hostage in a Stockholm Sweden bank. He strapped dynamite to their bodies and forced them into the bank vault. The man refused to negotiate with the police and held them hostage for 6 days.

The shocking part of the situation was that one or more of the female captives were sympathetic with their captor and even admitted to consensual physical intimacy with him. Later, one of the women broke her engagement to her intended and became engaged to Olafson. Another woman started a defense fund for the robber’s legal defense.

Eventually “the Stockholm Syndrome” was used as the explanation for a type of emotional bonding, that is in reality, a survival strategy for victims of emotional and physical abuse—including not only hostages, but also battered spouses and partners, abused children and even POW’s.

Van Zandt suggests in his article: “If the victim of the abusive relationship is your child or a friend, you need to remain supportive and not put even more stress, pressure, and guilt on the abused individual. An abuser can change, but he/she must want to change, and the longer he is allowed to abuse, the less likely he is to alter his behavior. If emotional or physical abuse is present in a dating relationship, know that the abuser is a loser; the abuse will become worse as time goes by, so turn on your heels and move quickly away from the influence of this person. Period!”

Take Care Of Yourself

Not everyone in an abusive relationship can be diagnosed with Stockholm Sy

gardless of the reasons given, the fact remains that the person on the receiving end of the abuse, physical or emotional, if they survive, eventually end up with a low self-esteem. They are guided by fears of every kind that paralyze them to a point of not making necessary changes that will improve their lives.

To some, it may be easier to just “go with the flow” and manipulate the family to the whims of the abuser, just for the sake of peace. The longer they exist in that environment, the more helpless they are to remove themselves from that life style. If they ever manage to escape from the situation, chances are that they will fall into another relationship similar to the last one.

Better ways to peace and a healthy self-image

Not just the wounded adult, but the children and teenagers of abusive environments definitely, need to be counseled and given ample opportunity to learn to view themselves in a wholesome, healthy way. It is important that they understand that the main burden upon them as individuals, is to know they do not deserve abuse and will not tolerate it from anyone, ever again. If not, the familiar patterning may appear in their new friendships, starting the cycle all over again.

Is there an answer? An expert speaks about the “Stockholm Syndrome”

Clint Van Zandt is an MSNBC analyst. During his 25-year career in the FBI, he was a supervisor in the FBI’s internationally renowned Behavioral Science Unit at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA. He was also the FBI’s Chief Hostage Negotiator and has been chief investigator in the search for Osama Bin Laden; was a leader of the analytical team tasked with identifying the “Unabomber,” and many other high profile investigations.

In his article WHY WE LOVE THE ONES WHO HURT US, he tells of hostages who sometimes become sympathetic to the hostage takers. As unbelievable as that sounds, there is an actual syndrome that explains the reactions of some, after being taken hostage and abused and yet sympathizing with the perpetrator. It is called “The Stockholm Syndrome.”

The name arose from a heavily armed bank robber named Olafson, who took three women and a man hostage in a Stockholm Sweden bank. He strapped dynamite to their bodies and forced them into the bank vault. The man refused to negotiate with the police and held them hostage for 6 days.

The shocking part of the situation was that one or more of the female captives were sympathetic with their captor and even admitted to consensual physical intimacy with him. Later, one of the women broke her engagement to her intended and became engaged to Olafson. Another woman started a defense fund for the robber’s legal defense.

Eventually “the Stockholm Syndrome” was used as the explanation for a type of emotional bonding, that is in reality, a survival strategy for victims of emotional and physical abuse—including not only hostages, but also battered spouses and partners, abused children and even POW’s.

Van Zandt suggests in his article: “If the victim of the abusive relationship is your child or a friend, you need to remain supportive and not put even more stress, pressure, and guilt on the abused individual. An abuser can change, but he/she must want to change, and the longer he is allowed to abuse, the less likely he is to alter his behavior. If emotional or physical abuse is present in a dating relationship, know that the abuser is a loser; the abuse will become worse as time goes by, so turn on your heels and move quickly away from the influence of this person. Period!”

Take Care Of Yourself

Not everyone in an abusive relationship can be diagnosed with Stockholm S

es in a wholesome, healthy way. It is important that they understand that the main burden upon them as individuals, is to know they do not deserve abuse and will not tolerate it from anyone, ever again. If not, the familiar patterning may appear in their new friendships, starting the cycle all over again.

Is there an answer? An expert speaks about the “Stockholm Syndrome”

Clint Van Zandt is an MSNBC analyst. During his 25-year career in the FBI, he was a supervisor in the FBI’s internationally renowned Behavioral Science Unit at the FBI Academy in Quantico, VA. He was also the FBI’s Chief Hostage Negotiator and has been chief investigator in the search for Osama Bin Laden; was a leader of the analytical team tasked with identifying the “Unabomber,” and many other high profile investigations.

In his article WHY WE LOVE THE ONES WHO HURT US, he tells of hostages who sometimes become sympathetic to the hostage takers. As unbelievable as that sounds, there is an actual syndrome that explains the reactions of some, after being taken hostage and abused and yet sympathizing with the perpetrator. It is called “The Stockholm Syndrome.”

The name arose from a heavily armed bank robber named Olafson, who took three women and a man hostage in a Stockholm Sweden bank. He strapped dynamite to their bodies and forced them into the bank vault. The man refused to negotiate with the police and held them hostage for 6 days.

The shocking part of the situation was that one or more of the female captives were sympathetic with their captor and even admitted to consensual physical intimacy with him. Later, one of the women broke her engagement to her intended and became engaged to Olafson. Another woman started a defense fund for the robber’s legal defense.

Eventually “the Stockholm Syndrome” was used as the explanation for a type of emotional bonding, that is in reality, a survival strategy for victims of emotional and physical abuse—including not only hostages, but also battered spouses and partners, abused children and even POW’s.

Van Zandt suggests in his article: “If the victim of the abusive relationship is your child or a friend, you need to remain supportive and not put even more stress, pressure, and guilt on the abused individual. An abuser can change, but he/she must want to change, and the longer he is allowed to abuse, the less likely he is to alter his behavior. If emotional or physical abuse is present in a dating relationship, know that the abuser is a loser; the abuse will become worse as time goes by, so turn on your heels and move quickly away from the influence of this person. Period!”

Take Care Of Yourself

Not everyone in an abusive relationship can be diagnosed with Stockholm S

o the hostage takers. As unbelievable as that sounds, there is an actual syndrome that explains the reactions of some, after being taken hostage and abused and yet sympathizing with the perpetrator. It is called “The Stockholm Syndrome.”

The name arose from a heavily armed bank robber named Olafson, who took three women and a man hostage in a Stockholm Sweden bank. He strapped dynamite to their bodies and forced them into the bank vault. The man refused to negotiate with the police and held them hostage for 6 days.

The shocking part of the situation was that one or more of the female captives were sympathetic with their captor and even admitted to consensual physical intimacy with him. Later, one of the women broke her engagement to her intended and became engaged to Olafson. Another woman started a defense fund for the robber’s legal defense.

Eventually “the Stockholm Syndrome” was used as the explanation for a type of emotional bonding, that is in reality, a survival strategy for victims of emotional and physical abuse—including not only hostages, but also battered spouses and partners, abused children and even POW’s.

Van Zandt suggests in his article: “If the victim of the abusive relationship is your child or a friend, you need to remain supportive and not put even more stress, pressure, and guilt on the abused individual. An abuser can change, but he/she must want to change, and the longer he is allowed to abuse, the less likely he is to alter his behavior. If emotional or physical abuse is present in a dating relationship, know that the abuser is a loser; the abuse will become worse as time goes by, so turn on your heels and move quickly away from the influence of this person. Period!”

Take Care Of Yourself

Not everyone in an abusive relationship can be diagnosed with Stockholm S

e explanation for a type of emotional bonding, that is in reality, a survival strategy for victims of emotional and physical abuse—including not only hostages, but also battered spouses and partners, abused children and even POW’s.

Van Zandt suggests in his article: “If the victim of the abusive relationship is your child or a friend, you need to remain supportive and not put even more stress, pressure, and guilt on the abused individual. An abuser can change, but he/she must want to change, and the longer he is allowed to abuse, the less likely he is to alter his behavior. If emotional or physical abuse is present in a dating relationship, know that the abuser is a loser; the abuse will become worse as time goes by, so turn on your heels and move quickly away from the influence of this person. Period!”

Take Care Of Yourself

Not everyone in an abusive relationship can be diagnosed with Stockholm Syndrome. However, it is especially important for anyone leaving an abusive relationship, to seek counseling, to spend a few years rebuilding self-esteem and finding a lifestyle that teaches him or her that they should not allow abuse, in any form, in their relationships. The attitude and example that adults in their family, set for their children could stop the abuse factor in its tracks.

Be a listening ear for a friend who is a victim of abuse

If you have a friend who is involved in an abusive relationship, be there for them, encourage them that they are too good to be treated in that manner and suggest they seek outside intervention, such as counseling in self-esteem, and ultimately self-protection.

Could they be a victim of the Stockholm Syndrome? Be kind, be patient. Be a friend. Tell them that, No one is born with an excuse to abuse another person!