y talk to other students and parents and find themselves playing the comparison game. Several students told me they decided not to apply to a certain school they loved only because it wouldn’t sound impressive when other people asked where they were applying or going to college. Not talking about your own or your childrRecently, I returned to my old high school to follow students throughout the college application process for a book about the pressure on today’s students (and parents) to succeed. What I found there mirrored what I saw in schools across the country, from Vermont to New Mexico: widespread panic over admissions. After speaking to hundreds of students, parents, admissions officers, and counselors, I’ve compiled some tips that can help families through this often stressful time.

1. Ignore The “Rankings”

Several publications claim to rank colleges in precise order on a yearly basis, lists that often influence students’ decisions about where to apply. These lists are a sham. The rankings have been fixed since they began; when the algorithm for the first U.S. News ranking produced a number-one school that was not Harvard, Princeton, or Yale, the magazine dumped the formula (which rewarded diversity) and the statistician who created it. The factors that many publications use to rank schools today do not necessarily have any bearing on the actual undergraduate experience – and many colleges cheat on their data, anyway.

2. Don’t Talk

Frequently, students and parents are happy with their grades, SAT scores, and college application lists . . . until they talk to other students and parents and find themselves playing the comparison game. Several students told me they decided not to apply to a certain school they loved only because it wouldn’t sound impressive when other people asked where they were applying or going to college. Not talking about your own or your childr

eaking to hundreds of students, parents, admissions officers, and counselors, I’ve compiled some tips that can help families through this often stressful time.

1. Ignore The “Rankings”

Several publications claim to rank colleges in precise order on a yearly basis, lists that often influence students’ decisions about where to apply. These lists are a sham. The rankings have been fixed since they began; when the algorithm for the first U.S. News ranking produced a number-one school that was not Harvard, Princeton, or Yale, the magazine dumped the formula (which rewarded diversity) and the statistician who created it. The factors that many publications use to rank schools today do not necessarily have any bearing on the actual undergraduate experience – and many colleges cheat on their data, anyway.

2. Don’t Talk

Frequently, students and parents are happy with their grades, SAT scores, and college application lists . . . until they talk to other students and parents and find themselves playing the comparison game. Several students told me they decided not to apply to a certain school they loved only because it wouldn’t sound impressive when other people asked where they were applying or going to college. Not talking about your own or your childr

s about where to apply. These lists are a sham. The rankings have been fixed since they began; when the algorithm for the first U.S. News ranking produced a number-one school that was not Harvard, Princeton, or Yale, the magazine dumped the formula (which rewarded diversity) and the statistician who created it. The factors that many publications use to rank schools today do not necessarily have any bearing on the actual undergraduate experience – and many colleges cheat on their data, anyway.

2. Don’t Talk

Frequently, students and parents are happy with their grades, SAT scores, and college application lists . . . until they talk to other students and parents and find themselves playing the comparison game. Several students told me they decided not to apply to a certain school they loved only because it wouldn’t sound impressive when other people asked where they were applying or going to college. Not talking about your own or your childr

tors that many publications use to rank schools today do not necessarily have any bearing on the actual undergraduate experience – and many colleges cheat on their data, anyway.

2. Don’t Talk

Frequently, students and parents are happy with their grades, SAT scores, and college application lists . . . until they talk to other students and parents and find themselves playing the comparison game. Several students told me they decided not to apply to a certain school they loved only because it wouldn’t sound impressive when other people asked where they were applying or going to college. Not talking about your own or your childr

y talk to other students and parents and find themselves playing the comparison game. Several students told me they decided not to apply to a certain school they loved only because it wouldn’t sound impressive when other people asked where they were applying or going to college. Not talking about your own or your children’s statistics – and not asking about others’ – will take an enormous weight off your shoulders.

3. Pare Down Activities

Many student pile on extracurricular activities to add lines to their college r?sum?, sacrificing sleep and leisure time in the process. But admissions officers I spoke with said they would prefer that students commit to only one or two activities that truly interest them.

4. Understand That Name Does Not Reflect Ability

Much of the frenzy over college admissions stems from the belief that name-brand schools provide the best education and most direct stepping-stone to success. This is a myth. Studies have shown that earnings do not increase with a degree from an elite school, and in 2005 the number of S&P 500 CEOs who had graduated from Harvard matched the number who had graduated from the University of Wisconsin.

5. Accept That Admissions Aren’t Personal

Too many families view admissions letter day as judgment day, as if an acceptance or rejection offered some sort of personal commentary. In reality, admissions are a numbers game that most students can’t beat. The competition is so stiff that the difference between a “Congratulations” and an “Unfortunately…” can be as simple as the fact that the school orchestr