ted now and there are all those commitments. But I am finding out its important to make the time.

So dust off some of those phone numbers and email addresses of old friends and get reconnected. Make a hole in the schedule to find

time to gather over a football game, change the oil with a friend, or frame out the shed with some neighbors. And while you are doing these things, find ways to connect and converse.

If you’ve lost touch with everyone, start fresh with someone new. Look for ways to connect with someone while you are doing something. Nice and easy like, just shooting the breeze in the neighborhood garage.

And when you get back into that place among men, enjoy the

When you were growing up, do you remember the great jokes and exotic smells in barbershops? Or the sense of real adventure in discovering treasures at the hardware store? And how much you learned about women, politics and economics at the garage?

These were the places where growing up, I learned about what it means to be a man. Going with my Dad to get a haircut, hunt for a valve for the leaky toilet or sitting on a step drinking a coke and hanging on every word of conversation echoing in the garage were times when I learned a lot.

I now use what I learned from those times. I know how to use humor and banter to connect with someone. I have become skillful at eliciting how my boys are doing in school and in life not through interrogation, which only gets a grunt or a one syllable answer like, “s’ok”.

Instead, I know to weave in my questions with stuff they are interested in. I learned that from listening to the flow and pace of conversations in these places of men.

I also learned how deep-in-my-belly good it feels to just hang out. Now, from just a casual exchange, I can check out how others are just like me over this struggle I have of a body growing and looking older and yet, I still feel like a kid inside. Or I can find out how others are also feeling dead in their jobs as I have been, through joking and venting. And in the process, I often pick up a tip or two on how to navigate these struggles.

This is a big topic coming up in my interviews with men as part of an ongoing study about the Disquiet in men’s lives. This Disquiet has been described as an unease or a restlessness in men’s lives.

While there is a real desire for community, most men are not interested in meeting just to talk about their feelings. One man captured the sentiment by saying, “I don’t want to sit there and talk about my feelings…I don’t have time for that”. But he and others said it was really important to not feel alone and be supported. Everyone I have interviewed so far has said being in community is needed.

So it seems to me this idea of men coming together is pretty important, especially as a way to explore our Disquiet. Not that you have to talk about it directly, but you know, touch on it, talk about one aspect with someone else who would know what you are talking about.

Remember when you could ask your friend, “Hey have you ever….”? Wouldn’t that be great to have in your life now? Where you can hear a gentle joke or a story that let’s you know you aren’t crazy and you aren’t alone.

Look around in your life. When was the last time you just hung with a male friend or a group of buddies? A while ago? Not since college?

I know, it’s hard. Life is complicated now and there are all those commitments. But I am finding out its important to make the time.

So dust off some of those phone numbers and email addresses of old friends and get reconnected. Make a hole in the schedule to find

time to gather over a football game, change the oil with a friend, or frame out the shed with some neighbors. And while you are doing these things, find ways to connect and converse.

If you’ve lost touch with everyone, start fresh with someone new. Look for ways to connect with someone while you are doing something. Nice and easy like, just shooting the breeze in the neighborhood garage.

And when you get back into that place among men, enjoy the

oys are doing in school and in life not through interrogation, which only gets a grunt or a one syllable answer like, “s’ok”.

Instead, I know to weave in my questions with stuff they are interested in. I learned that from listening to the flow and pace of conversations in these places of men.

I also learned how deep-in-my-belly good it feels to just hang out. Now, from just a casual exchange, I can check out how others are just like me over this struggle I have of a body growing and looking older and yet, I still feel like a kid inside. Or I can find out how others are also feeling dead in their jobs as I have been, through joking and venting. And in the process, I often pick up a tip or two on how to navigate these struggles.

This is a big topic coming up in my interviews with men as part of an ongoing study about the Disquiet in men’s lives. This Disquiet has been described as an unease or a restlessness in men’s lives.

While there is a real desire for community, most men are not interested in meeting just to talk about their feelings. One man captured the sentiment by saying, “I don’t want to sit there and talk about my feelings…I don’t have time for that”. But he and others said it was really important to not feel alone and be supported. Everyone I have interviewed so far has said being in community is needed.

So it seems to me this idea of men coming together is pretty important, especially as a way to explore our Disquiet. Not that you have to talk about it directly, but you know, touch on it, talk about one aspect with someone else who would know what you are talking about.

Remember when you could ask your friend, “Hey have you ever….”? Wouldn’t that be great to have in your life now? Where you can hear a gentle joke or a story that let’s you know you aren’t crazy and you aren’t alone.

Look around in your life. When was the last time you just hung with a male friend or a group of buddies? A while ago? Not since college?

I know, it’s hard. Life is complicated now and there are all those commitments. But I am finding out its important to make the time.

So dust off some of those phone numbers and email addresses of old friends and get reconnected. Make a hole in the schedule to find

time to gather over a football game, change the oil with a friend, or frame out the shed with some neighbors. And while you are doing these things, find ways to connect and converse.

If you’ve lost touch with everyone, start fresh with someone new. Look for ways to connect with someone while you are doing something. Nice and easy like, just shooting the breeze in the neighborhood garage.

And when you get back into that place among men, enjoy the

a tip or two on how to navigate these struggles.

This is a big topic coming up in my interviews with men as part of an ongoing study about the Disquiet in men’s lives. This Disquiet has been described as an unease or a restlessness in men’s lives.

While there is a real desire for community, most men are not interested in meeting just to talk about their feelings. One man captured the sentiment by saying, “I don’t want to sit there and talk about my feelings…I don’t have time for that”. But he and others said it was really important to not feel alone and be supported. Everyone I have interviewed so far has said being in community is needed.

So it seems to me this idea of men coming together is pretty important, especially as a way to explore our Disquiet. Not that you have to talk about it directly, but you know, touch on it, talk about one aspect with someone else who would know what you are talking about.

Remember when you could ask your friend, “Hey have you ever….”? Wouldn’t that be great to have in your life now? Where you can hear a gentle joke or a story that let’s you know you aren’t crazy and you aren’t alone.

Look around in your life. When was the last time you just hung with a male friend or a group of buddies? A while ago? Not since college?

I know, it’s hard. Life is complicated now and there are all those commitments. But I am finding out its important to make the time.

So dust off some of those phone numbers and email addresses of old friends and get reconnected. Make a hole in the schedule to find

time to gather over a football game, change the oil with a friend, or frame out the shed with some neighbors. And while you are doing these things, find ways to connect and converse.

If you’ve lost touch with everyone, start fresh with someone new. Look for ways to connect with someone while you are doing something. Nice and easy like, just shooting the breeze in the neighborhood garage.

And when you get back into that place among men, enjoy the

ity is needed.

So it seems to me this idea of men coming together is pretty important, especially as a way to explore our Disquiet. Not that you have to talk about it directly, but you know, touch on it, talk about one aspect with someone else who would know what you are talking about.

Remember when you could ask your friend, “Hey have you ever….”? Wouldn’t that be great to have in your life now? Where you can hear a gentle joke or a story that let’s you know you aren’t crazy and you aren’t alone.

Look around in your life. When was the last time you just hung with a male friend or a group of buddies? A while ago? Not since college?

I know, it’s hard. Life is complicated now and there are all those commitments. But I am finding out its important to make the time.

So dust off some of those phone numbers and email addresses of old friends and get reconnected. Make a hole in the schedule to find

time to gather over a football game, change the oil with a friend, or frame out the shed with some neighbors. And while you are doing these things, find ways to connect and converse.

If you’ve lost touch with everyone, start fresh with someone new. Look for ways to connect with someone while you are doing something. Nice and easy like, just shooting the breeze in the neighborhood garage.

And when you get back into that place among men, enjoy the

ted now and there are all those commitments. But I am finding out its important to make the time.

So dust off some of those phone numbers and email addresses of old friends and get reconnected. Make a hole in the schedule to find

time to gather over a football game, change the oil with a friend, or frame out the shed with some neighbors. And while you are doing these things, find ways to connect and converse.

If you’ve lost touch with everyone, start fresh with someone new. Look for ways to connect with someone while you are doing something. Nice and easy like, just shooting the breeze in the neighborhood garage.

And when you get back into that place among men, enjoy the banter. Revel in each other’s experience and wisdom. Remember what it was like to learn important things through the easy conversations, the mundane commentaries and all while having fun.