Squirt, squirt, squirt then swoosh - all the crap on the table went into my lap. I just sat there seething. My wife asked me to remain calm as I was about to get up yet again and ask for the manager.

After about twenty minutes out came the food - mine a massive plate of the most tasteless calamari I have ever suffered. It was horrible. I left most of it on the plate. The only saving grace was my wife's meal. She told me that her fish dish was very nice. I had a taste and yes it was.

The point is this - I will NEVER enter eithe

Today, I took my wife to lunch. That in itself is hardly any news at all. However, what should have been a lovely celebration of something personal turned out to be pretty lousy. Here's what happened...

We went to a local marina where there is a selection of restaurants. We strolled along the marina just to have a look at what was on offer. The first restaurant we walked into was about one-third full. I stood at the front desk and waited... and waited... and waited.

There were three people behind the counter busying themselves with all sorts of menial tasks. I eventually managed to get the attention of a young lady. She stood directly in front of me and looked at me. Not a word did she speak. No "hello." No "welcome to our restaurant." Nothing.

She just stood and looked. Eventually, I said: "Excuse me. What should we do? Do we order here or take a seat and wait for somebody?"

The young lady sighed and mumbled something that sounded like: "do whatever you want." Not being one to suffer rudeness, inattentiveness or sarcasm too well when I am the paying customer I simply turned to my wife and we walked out.

We selected a second restaurant a bit further along the boardwalk. In we went. We paid up front then were told to sit at table seven. There was no table seven so, while my wife waited I went back and enquired. The young waiter pointed to a table in the corner. He didn't say anything either. Just raised his arm in a gesture and pointed with a dumb look on his face. He just pointed like some sort of mute zombie. Oh boy! I didn't need a conversationalist but what is it with these kids? Have they lost the art of polite communication?

I was shown to a table marked four. That, apparently was table seven. Hmm... interesting concept. The table was filthy, covered in salt, greasy fingerprints and bits of lettuce everywhere. So, off I go again. I asked the same young man if he would clean the table for us. Oh-oh! That must have been outside his job requirements. You would have thought I had asked him for a pint of his blood.

In his own good time - several minutes later - over he came with a squirter and a cloth. Squirt, squirt, squirt then swoosh - all the crap on the table went into my lap. I just sat there seething. My wife asked me to remain calm as I was about to get up yet again and ask for the manager.

After about twenty minutes out came the food - mine a massive plate of the most tasteless calamari I have ever suffered. It was horrible. I left most of it on the plate. The only saving grace was my wife's meal. She told me that her fish dish was very nice. I had a taste and yes it was.

The point is this - I will NEVER enter either

with all sorts of menial tasks. I eventually managed to get the attention of a young lady. She stood directly in front of me and looked at me. Not a word did she speak. No "hello." No "welcome to our restaurant." Nothing.

She just stood and looked. Eventually, I said: "Excuse me. What should we do? Do we order here or take a seat and wait for somebody?"

The young lady sighed and mumbled something that sounded like: "do whatever you want." Not being one to suffer rudeness, inattentiveness or sarcasm too well when I am the paying customer I simply turned to my wife and we walked out.

We selected a second restaurant a bit further along the boardwalk. In we went. We paid up front then were told to sit at table seven. There was no table seven so, while my wife waited I went back and enquired. The young waiter pointed to a table in the corner. He didn't say anything either. Just raised his arm in a gesture and pointed with a dumb look on his face. He just pointed like some sort of mute zombie. Oh boy! I didn't need a conversationalist but what is it with these kids? Have they lost the art of polite communication?

I was shown to a table marked four. That, apparently was table seven. Hmm... interesting concept. The table was filthy, covered in salt, greasy fingerprints and bits of lettuce everywhere. So, off I go again. I asked the same young man if he would clean the table for us. Oh-oh! That must have been outside his job requirements. You would have thought I had asked him for a pint of his blood.

In his own good time - several minutes later - over he came with a squirter and a cloth. Squirt, squirt, squirt then swoosh - all the crap on the table went into my lap. I just sat there seething. My wife asked me to remain calm as I was about to get up yet again and ask for the manager.

After about twenty minutes out came the food - mine a massive plate of the most tasteless calamari I have ever suffered. It was horrible. I left most of it on the plate. The only saving grace was my wife's meal. She told me that her fish dish was very nice. I had a taste and yes it was.

The point is this - I will NEVER enter eithe

customer I simply turned to my wife and we walked out.

We selected a second restaurant a bit further along the boardwalk. In we went. We paid up front then were told to sit at table seven. There was no table seven so, while my wife waited I went back and enquired. The young waiter pointed to a table in the corner. He didn't say anything either. Just raised his arm in a gesture and pointed with a dumb look on his face. He just pointed like some sort of mute zombie. Oh boy! I didn't need a conversationalist but what is it with these kids? Have they lost the art of polite communication?

I was shown to a table marked four. That, apparently was table seven. Hmm... interesting concept. The table was filthy, covered in salt, greasy fingerprints and bits of lettuce everywhere. So, off I go again. I asked the same young man if he would clean the table for us. Oh-oh! That must have been outside his job requirements. You would have thought I had asked him for a pint of his blood.

In his own good time - several minutes later - over he came with a squirter and a cloth. Squirt, squirt, squirt then swoosh - all the crap on the table went into my lap. I just sat there seething. My wife asked me to remain calm as I was about to get up yet again and ask for the manager.

After about twenty minutes out came the food - mine a massive plate of the most tasteless calamari I have ever suffered. It was horrible. I left most of it on the plate. The only saving grace was my wife's meal. She told me that her fish dish was very nice. I had a taste and yes it was.

The point is this - I will NEVER enter eithe

ds? Have they lost the art of polite communication?

I was shown to a table marked four. That, apparently was table seven. Hmm... interesting concept. The table was filthy, covered in salt, greasy fingerprints and bits of lettuce everywhere. So, off I go again. I asked the same young man if he would clean the table for us. Oh-oh! That must have been outside his job requirements. You would have thought I had asked him for a pint of his blood.

In his own good time - several minutes later - over he came with a squirter and a cloth. Squirt, squirt, squirt then swoosh - all the crap on the table went into my lap. I just sat there seething. My wife asked me to remain calm as I was about to get up yet again and ask for the manager.

After about twenty minutes out came the food - mine a massive plate of the most tasteless calamari I have ever suffered. It was horrible. I left most of it on the plate. The only saving grace was my wife's meal. She told me that her fish dish was very nice. I had a taste and yes it was.

The point is this - I will NEVER enter eithe

Squirt, squirt, squirt then swoosh - all the crap on the table went into my lap. I just sat there seething. My wife asked me to remain calm as I was about to get up yet again and ask for the manager.

After about twenty minutes out came the food - mine a massive plate of the most tasteless calamari I have ever suffered. It was horrible. I left most of it on the plate. The only saving grace was my wife's meal. She told me that her fish dish was very nice. I had a taste and yes it was.

The point is this - I will NEVER enter either of these lousy joints again. Furthermore, I'll let all my friends know not to go there too. What is happening to pleasantness, manners and service with a smile? Most of those things now seem like "old world" values. To top it off the meal was expensive too.

The sooner I get my new book - "Profit is a Beautiful Word" up for sale the better. It deals with business etiquette and the lost art of treating customers like valuable assets to the business. Honestly, the way that many businesses and their bad-tempered, bad-attitude employees behave these days it is little wonder that 95% of them are out of business in under three years. No wonder at all. Today's two experiences were prime examples.

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